Things you could do during the annual Purge (besides killing people):


  • set animals from the zoo free and watch them stampede down main street
  • go on an all expenses paid shopping spree 
  • drive on the other side of the street
  • spray paint rainbow flags on your homophobic neighbor’s house
  • raid costco to stock up for your next major party (don’t forget to drop by the liquor store, kids!)
  • catch up on your favorite shows- go steal the DVD boxsets
  • this is the cheapest sex toys are ever gonna be, so you might as well take advantage of that, too

The Purge

  • My period: Now commencing the monthly purge. For the next five days, there will be cramps that make you feel like WW3 in your uterus, random bouts of bitchiness and sadness, bloating, and unexplained horniness. We thank you for your participation.
  • Me: NOOOO! No!! Please! I won't make it!
  • My period: Just remember all the good the purge does.


Things I want to know about The Purge:

• Who cleans up all the dead bodies

• What happens to the people in prison during the purge

• Also people in hospitals

• Why is no one robbing banks

• or going to stores and taking what you want

• would famous people purge…like would you see Jennifer Lawrence killing people?

• Also why do rich people need to purge to “cleanse their souls?”…because daddy didn’t buy you the right car oorrrr like what?